I Need Something More.

"I need something MORE... There has to more to life"...  This was my first thought after waking up a couple weeks ago. This virus has my emotions on a roller coaster, as I'm sure every woman has felt like this one time or another.  We've been dealing with canceled everything.... graduations, weddings, and not even being able to mourn/celebrate the lives of our loved ones properly with a funeral or even see and care for our sick friends and family.  Touch.  Hugs. Hand shakes.  High fives.  Those things that make us feel love or connected to one another has been taken away...or we have been shamed into feeling "dirty" if we do it without thinking,  and we run to the hand sanitizer!  😔 I felt tired.  Another day of the unknown.  Another day of just existing...not really living....just trying to stay healthy. Another day of trying to protect the people I love from getting sick.  Another day of trying to think of creative ways to love on people and let them know they aren't alone and that they matter....but I'm exhausted mentally.  I often think of when I would go fishing as a kid....we would put the worm on the hook that was attached to the fishing Bobber. When a fish would bite, the Bobber would be sucked under water... well...My feelings exactly!  I was just trying to keep my head above the water! 😢 #drowning 

I went into my prayer closet and sat in the floor...(could have been a dramatic sat) and I repeated out loud "Jesus I need something "MORE". I then opened the Word of God, grabbed my journal and began writing in my sloppy handwriting these encouraging words:

Psalm 51:8- "Make me to hear joy and gladness that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice."

*Let me HEAR and be satisfied. 

*Let me HEAR the sounds. This means I better open up my mouth and HEAR the sounds of praise and worship coming from my own lips! But also what I listen to with these ears! What you watch, read, and HEAR matters! 

*Oh give me back JOY again.

*You Jesus have broken me, now let me rejoice.

*The psalmist is asking for something "MORE". 

I am gonna cross reference this with Deuteronomy 32:39 (Amp)-"See now that I, I am He, and there is no God besides Me; It is I who put to death, and I who give life. I have wounded and it is I who heal, And there is no one who can deliver from [the power of] My hand.

*You Jesus have broken me...now let me REJOICE!

*Sometimes we gotta be gracefully broken so He can make us willing to obey Him...a broken and a contrite heart Jesus loves! PS 51:17 💗

*He does what He wants...He is God and we are not.😜 He knows.

*There is nobody beside Him. What a Dad!💪

Psalms 51:12 (amp)- "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit.

*A willing spirit- ready, eager, prepared, to desire. 

* Grant me the Ultimate Joy of being Forgiven!

    Again the Psalmist is asking for something MORE! I couldn't believe it when I read those words as I was studying it on bible hub...I just said those same words minutes before. The psalmist wants not mere negative peace and rest,  but ACTIVE thrilling Joy which those experience who feel themselves RESTORED to Gods favor, and bask in the light of His countenance. 

    That every ache and pain may cease... both mentally and physically, AND be replaced by gladness and rejoicing! By this point I was sobbing and could barely read what I was writing. 😇

    Grant me the Ultimate Joy of being forgiven!!! Restore it to ME! That’s it!! When was the last time I felt that...experienced,  or even thought about it?! I won't be silent. I will rejoice. I will proclaim Jesus. He is my strength and my song!  What I hear matters. What I speak matters. I am made whole in Jesus. I have ultimate JOY in Him. I found my “MORE”. I end with these three words: JESUS IS ENOUGH! 

PS. Jesus has ALWAYS been ENOUGH. He will ALWAYS be ENOUGH. 🔥